Avoiding feelings can be good for you?
Our society loves to brush things under the rug. Feeling bad? Have a drink! Feeling lonely? Scroll on your phone for hours. Feeling incompetent? Work overtime and say yes to everything.
I think about what this actually costs us. It truly is quite a bit. We don’t actually learn how to sit in our feelings, and we have a hard time getting in touch with what impacts us. Our body continues to send cues, but we ignore them.
We don’t take the time to sit down and really address what may be going on. We ignore how we feel based on how we were raised or how our culture views mental health. Let’s be honest, it also takes effort and we just Don’t. Have. The. Time.
“there are some benefits to avoidance…only when used appropriately and with purpose and as a stop gap measure. ”
Sadly, the more we ignore, the louder the consequences get. We tend to feel more irritated; our emotions explode out of nowhere, or we even experience body aches and pains. Our unfelt emotions will come out in some form of another, it’s just a matter of time.
So avoidance seems pretty terrible, right? But, let’s dive deeper into what it gives to us.
Well, the benefits of avoidance is that in the moment, we don’t have the mental capacity to pay attention to how we’re feeling. We might not have a safe place to unpack some of these emotions and doing so without that, could cause more problems. Processing takes time, so avoiding your feelings in the moment can be helpful in order to get through the day.
So, there are some benefits to avoidance…only when used appropriately and with purpose and as a stop gap measure.
At the very least, even if you don’t have time…..acknowledge that you’re feeling something. You don’t necessarily have to name it in the moment, but a quick validation can help you settle until you have the time and capacity to go deeper.
Eventually, you will have to address what’s going on for you. It’s a chance to get curious, to start naming your emotions and engage in some self reflection regarding what you’re experiencing.